Our Afghan Autism Journey

Our autism journey with Roman has been rooted in openness, intention, and unconditional love from the very beginning. We noticed signs early, trusted our instincts, and sought intervention right away. We learned everything we could through books, appointments, research, and conversations. Because Roman deserved parents who showed up prepared and unafraid.
One thing we promised ourselves early on: we would never hide his autism. Not from family, not from friends, not from the world. Keeping it a secret would only serve others’ comfort, not Roman’s. His comfort will always come first.

So we shared openly, even with the family members who didn’t fully understand autism or who responded with, “bakhair jor mesha” or “ghatt si, joreejhi” Instead of feeling offended, we chose education. We explained, we guided, we encouraged questions, and that decision changed everything. By choosing to teach instead of retreat, we helped shift mindsets, one conversation at a time. And the difference has been profound.

We’ve always made Roman’s needs the centre of every environment he walks into. If he’s stimming, we explain why. If he needs space, we talk about what that means. If a situation is too loud, too unpredictable, or too overwhelming, we adjust, with no hesitation. And we include our family and friends in that process, every step of the way. They don’t just witness his world; they learn how to understand and support it.

And the most beautiful part? Children in our lives like cousins, nieces, nephews, friends’ kids, all ask questions. Why doesn’t Roman want to play right now? Why isn’t he speaking? Why does he need space? And we welcome every question with open dialogue. We want them to understand, not to guess. Their curiosity is a gift, and answering honestly has taught them so much about neurodiversity, empathy, patience, and acceptance.

Through those moments, they’ve grown more aware, more compassionate, and more inclusive, and not just with Roman, but with anyone who moves through the world differently.

By refusing to hide, by choosing education over silence, and by making Roman’s comfort non-negotiable, we’ve built the most incredible village around him. Family and friends who don’t just love him, but ones that truly understand him. They celebrate his wins, support his challenges, and embrace everything that makes him uniquely Roman.

And now, instead of walking this path alone, we’re walking it hand in hand with a community that celebrates him, advocates for him, and meets him exactly where he is. Roman’s journey has brought out the best in the people around him, and together, we’re creating a world where he can feel understood, accepted, and completely himself, inshAllah.

Wafa Roman - An Afghan Autism Parent