Beyond "Ghairat" & "Tarbia": An Afghan Behaviour Technician's View on Autism

In my work with special-education students at the high school level, I’ve learned that supporting autistic youth begins with understanding how beautifully and uniquely their minds work. Autism isn’t a flaw it’s a different way of processing the world, often with strengths that shine when we slow down enough to see them. What I notice most, especially when working with Afghan families, is that many of us grew up in environments where mental health wasn’t talked about, where behaviour was often misunderstood as “ghairat,” “tarbia,” or discipline issues. Because of that, parents sometimes delay seeking support, thinking their child is simply shy, stubborn or “just needs to listen.” But, early intervention and understanding truly transform these students’ lives.

For Afghan parents, one of the most helpful starting points is recognizing that autistic children respond best to routine, clear expectations, and gentle patience. Visual schedules, step-by-step tasks and giving them time to process instructions make a big difference. Many of the students I work with flourish once they feel safe, respected and understood especially when adults stop comparing them to siblings or cousins. I’ve seen how much confidence grows when parents praise small victories, follow consistent routines at home and communicate with teachers without fear or shame.

Another important message for our community is that autism does not come from weakness, bad parenting, trauma or lack of discipline. Afghan kids on the spectrum often have remarkable strengths: honesty, creativity, hyper-focus, musicality, memory or a deep sense of loyalty. But these strengths only bloom when families approach them with curiosity instead of judgment. When parents learn about sensory needs, communication differences and emotional regulation, the whole household becomes calmer and more connected.

My hope is that more Afghan families give themselves permission to learn, ask questions and seek support without feeling embarrassed.

Autism is not a label that limits a child. I’s a lens that helps us understand how to support them better. And, when Afghan parents embrace that lens with compassion, their children thrive in ways that honour both their individuality and our cultural values.

- Farhad Ahmad, BSW (Bachelor of Social Work)
Behaviour Technician