When Comparison Hurts: Understanding Autism in Afghan Families!
A heartfelt reflection from Afghan mental health practitioner Sara Nazim on how cultural comparisons can deepen parents’ fears and how understanding autism can replace shame with compassion.
In my work with Afghan families, I’ve seen how deeply parents care for their children. I’ve also seen how much confusion and pain can arise when a child is autistic, especially in a culture where children are often compared with their cousins or other kids in the family. Many parents hear comments like, “Your nephew talked earlier,” or “Your niece listens better,” and these comparisons only make mothers and fathers feel more worried or ashamed.
In reality, autism is not caused by anything the parents did wrong. It is simply a different way a child’s brain understands the world. Some children may speak later, avoid eye contact, become overwhelmed in noisy gatherings, or need more routine—and that is okay.
I’ve held the hands of mothers who felt blamed, and I’ve spoken to fathers who quietly carried fear in their hearts. But once they learn what autism truly is, their fear slowly becomes understanding and relief. With love, patience, early support, and a calm home environment, autistic children can grow beautifully.
Afghan families are strong and compassionate. They do not need comparison or pressure—they need clear, gentle information that helps them support their children with confidence and dignity.
— Sara Nazim Mental health Prof | BSc, MSc, PGcert
Author of Silent Scars of our Land
Founder of Empoweredmind.org